Have you ever been haunted? Have you ever been haunted by your younger self? I have. I am being. I think I will always be haunted by her. I don’t know if haunted is the right word to use but I see my younger self sometimes. I see her standing there looking straight at me. Sometimes smiling, sometimes waving and sometimes just looking. You probably think I’m a nutter, I did when it first started happening. I thought I was going mad. She stands there with long blonde hair, with this big blocked fringe, with her grey school boots on, her grey plaited skirt, with her white summer shirt on and her big oversized grey cardie. She comes at funny times, I can be in a busy room, and she can just be standing in the middle of it all. I have come to the conclusion that she comes when maybe I’ve done well at something, or I’m finding something really hard, and am thinking what’s the point in carrying on with it. I think she’s there to support me and to say ‘look how far you’ve come’, and ‘don’t stop now’.
When I look at that little girl I’m so proud of her, of how much of a fighter she is, and how strong she is, she will always be a part of me and I will never forget her. She made some hard decisions at that age, that have got me where I am now. Maybe one day she will stop visiting me, maybe when I have achieved all that I can achieve. I don’t know, we’ll just have to see.