Letter to self

Dear Larissa,

This is what I want to achieve this year – my first year at university:

Make friends

Speak to everyone in class

Learn how to use film cameras

Successfully pass a module

Get all my dyslexia support

Learn new things in photography.  I came in through the art route so I have no grounding in the skills of photography, just ‘the eye’.

I have started a new life in many ways.  I feel like I am a new person and hope to learn how to think differently and make the best of everything.

When I start university I know my support will not be in place at the beginning but I am an adult and know I have to deal with it myself.  This is a big step for me, to try to manage on my own and try not to get upset in class.  It will bring back all the bad experiences I had in the past, flashbacks from when I was little and bemused by education and get really angry if anyone made a joke about my reading skills.  I need to learn how to hold myself together and ask the lecturers for help.  I felt I was holding myself back and want to develop this confidence through the year.  Maybe the lecturers will learn more about dyslexia by helping me.  I hope to learn not to build the wall of self protection around me and be more open with my friends and teaching staff as well.

I want to be able to do shoots and am looking forward to having lectures from people who are in the industry- finding out how they did it and learning about photography.

I don’t want to work in a studio all my life.  I want to help people with photography and to make a difference.  I want to give something back.

I want to document the lives of my children, if I have any, to show how they change.  Lots of photographers have been inspired to start in the subject because of their children.

By the end of the year I want to be more confident about carrying out all these projects properly.  I want to be more confident as a person.  Unless people get to know me I am quite shy and do not appear to know much.  I want to feel less overawed.

Coventry University will teach me how film works and I hope to learn more through using film.  Film is more ‘arty’ and you need a more technical skill.  If it comes back into fashion I want to learn the skill to help me in the future.  It will give me experience in some professional shoots if film is used.

University will inspire me to reach for the impossible and to do things I never thought I could.  I hope to learn never to give up.  This links to my experiences in the past and is like déjà vu.

I am looking forward to reflecting on all this later in the year to see what progress I have made.

From

Larissa Grace

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